Sorry for the lack of content this last week, I was in London!!
I just came back home after spending a week in London. Oxford street, Buckingham, Camden town, Covent garden, LOTS of museums, and food…
I make mistakes. I have an eating disorder. I said I wanted to start this new year positively, which I did the wrong way, I admit it. I Lost weight which is a huge trigger for me.
Friday we went to the restaurant in London to eat fish’n'chips…bad idea right? I had a panic attack. I couldn’t breathe, felt dizzy, a lot of thoughts went through my mind, I was feeling really hot, long story short, I was really bad. So i went outside to breathe some fresh air. it helped a bit but the thoughts were still here. After on, once on the bus to head back home, it was back, the anxiety hit me again and I couldn’t breathe properly, I started to feel hot, really worried and I was about to break down in tears, but I tried to calm down. I think it took me about half an hour to actually be able to breathe better and feel less overwhelmed. Right now, I’m home, writing this article and I can feel the anxiety inside of me. It’s time for lunch and I don’t want to go get it cause I’m convinced something could happen (panic attack, binge, etc…). I’m struggling lately and I’ll be honest I don’t really know what to do, I’m sorry I’m not a professional helper, just one of many who struggle with depression, eating disorder and anxiety unfortunately. That’s why I created this blog, not only to help you, but to help myself as well and also to go through this beautiful (yes, BEAUTIFUL) journey.
This being said, here’s what I want to get to:
5 things to do when you feel overwhelmed:
- Talk to someone you trust, don’t stay alone with your thoughts
- Write down what you feel, try to find some reasons. That way you’ll understand, therefore you’ll be able to solve the problem.
- Take a bath, a shower, go for a swim, go for a run, dance…let it go through your body.
- Take one thing at a time, don’t rush everything is okay and you’ll be okay.
Thanks for reading this.
Don’t give up, stay you, stay strong!
Hello hello 2017!
Today we’re the 1st January, which means it’s time for the well-know never respected “resolutions of the year” list.
i always used to make those lists with the strong belief that I would achieve everything I wrote on it. But I never did. Wanna know why? cause two hours after I did that list, I forgot I ever did it.
This year is a year of change, of happiness, of self-love and success. So this year we are going to respect this list alright?
If you think you’re not gonna be able to respect it, you’re wrong. Don’t start off the year with negative thoughts, please darling, you’re better than this.
I believe in you, you should believe in yourself. It’s possible to respect it as long as you fully commit to it.
Here is my list of resolutions for the year 2017:
- Pass my dance exam
- Pass my school exams with honors
- Finish the surprise for my dance teacher
- Create a choreography and dance it as perfectly as possible
- Help a friend create an entire dance spectacle
- Lose some weight
- Let go of the past
Now I want you to make yours and I want you to have faith in yourself. You can do this.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!
Stay strong and stay you, keep going and never give up. Make this year as perfect as possible.
Have you ever noticed how our day gets better and brighter when something good happens to you or when you get results from something you fought for for a long time? feels good right? I think that’s what peple call joy, or happiness? Whetever it’s called, we have to keep this feeling in mind and always look for it when we feel like it’s going away, never let it go!
Sometimes we feel good, all joyful and stuff and the next day we feel like crap. Don’t worry, I guess it’s normal. At least, it is okay. If you feel that way don’t give up, carry on fighting and looking for that spark that brightens your day.
When we suffer from depression, we easily lose hope and all sorts of optimism, especially when things are slightly. We must find it back! Take step by step, one at a time, don’t hurry, it’s not a race, it’s a journey, a travel with few obstacles (which aren’t impossible to overcome). Learn to have faith before learning how to do things. BELIEVE BEFORE TRYING. Life isn’t that bad, it’s seems awful, a total mess, hell, seems like it won’t ever get better, but it will. Just keep believeing in yourself.
Have faith, breathe, stay strong and keep going.
Today I want to talk to you about eating disorders, depression, anxiety, self-harm. These are serious problems people tend to not take seriously and there’s a lot of stigma around it still today, even though there is progress.
Myself, I’m dealing with all these above to this day. Christmas is hard cause of the amount of food which brings anxiety. Panic attacks hit me more and more often, sometimes for no reason. Self-harm has been my way to cope for three years, it destroyed everything in me and today, everything is a trigger and the urg to harm myself is beyond bearable. Sometimes, most of the time, I don’t want to get out of bed, breathing is hard, eating is hard, listening to people or to sounds around me is hard, doing my homework is hard, living is hard.
People don’t always understand those problem. They think it’s just for attention, or I don’t know, to victimize ourselves. But they don’t know we actually can’t help it… it’s in us, it’s us, our shadow, our thoughts, our oxygen. It’s part of us and always will be. We don’t get rid of it, we just get better at dealing with it. it’s like going in a city we’ve never been to before. We got lost several times, by time, we know where we’re going.
What I want to insist on is the recovery process. Recovery is beyond hard cause you go against yourself, or what you think is yourself. It’s easy to punish yourself, it’s easy to skip a meal and it’s easy stay in bed. But it’s so difficult to keep yourself from cutting, it’s so difficult to eat after several months of self manipulation, it’s so difficult to force yourself to basically live when all you want is to disappear. And yet, that’s the best thing to do. The “easy way” as I call it, isn’t the good one, it’s a trap, it’s toxic. It’s gonna lead to rock bottom, if not lower. Recovery is hard, it’s beyond hard, it’s hell sometimes, but SO worth it!!
As long as we want to succeed, we will. All you need to do is want it. You have to want to get better if you actually want to get better.
Please don’t give up. It gets better, trust me. i know it because i’m not far from being good again, even if I still struggle today. But it’s a daily battle. Take one day at the time, don’t focus on the future while you didn’t even step in the present yet.
It’s never easy and it’s never over, and it will be a fight renewed each morning, but it’s possible.
Here are some books I’ve read more than once. They helped me calm down, think less, they made me laugh as well as they made me cry, they helped me see clearer in my own life. They’re little treasures we tend to forget while they’re so precious. Nowadays people don’t want to read, they either don’t have the time or can’t be bothered. But, the thing is, we always have the time. Take a moment everyday to read, it won’t kill you and you won’t waste your time, believe me!
Read at least one book per week, I’m sure your life will get a bit lighter, easier. Try it and you’ll see it by yourself.
- Everything everything by Nicola Yoon
- All the bright places by Jennifer Niven
- The man who wanted to be happy by Laurent Gounelle
- The man who Risked it all by Laurent Gounelle
- Eat, pray, love by Elizabeth Gilbert
- The perks of being a wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
- Emma by Jane Austen
Hello people, As you must all know, 2016 is soon over…whether it was an awesome year or a total disaster, you’ll soon have the chance to start it all over again. Yes, I said chance, because it is a chance to wake up everyday. We don’t always realize it but not everybody has this chance.
This past year maybe you had a crisis. Rock bottom said “hello” and now you might think you can’t come back up. Well, you’re wrong!
New year = new start = new opportunities = new life = getting up
Whenever I feel like it’s the end of the world, that’s what I do: I cry, I binge eat (cause food is THE solution right?), I wanna give up every single thing I’m involved in. I’m a mess, literally. We’re all the same.
But NO! it shouldn’t be that way. Of course we can cry, that’s human and needed. But we can’t give up, we can’t destroy our health and our body over problems that can be solved, cause EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM HAS A SOLUTION (remember that).
So here are 5 tips to apply when you feel down, sad, when you feel like giving up (never do that):
1. Cry: crying helps getting the sadness out. It helps evacuating the pain and it’s relieving. So don’t be afraid to cry, IT IS OKAY.
2. Dream: continue to dream. Dreaming feels good. Imagine yourself in a nice place, with the perfect weather, with people you love, the perfect place for you. You can also imagine yourself achieving your biggest dreams, NEVER GIVE UP ON THOSE DREAMS!
3. Talk: talk to a trusted person. Don’t keep it to yourself, SECRETS MAKE YOU SICK.
4. Do something: when we’re busy, our mind focuses on something else than what goes wrong. I like to read books when I feel bad, cause then, the mind isn’t focused on it’s own story anymore, and it feels good. FOCUS ON SOMETHING GOOD.
5. Let go: think of your mind as the sky, your thoughts are the clouds. When you see a cloud, you don’t judge it, you let it go. Let go of your clouds. BREATHE, AND LET GO.
It gets better, trust me.
KEEP BEING OU AND KEEP BEING STRONG!